Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I can read

I understand how hurricane paths work

Treasury yields slide as ADP payrolls fall to lowest in more than two years - CNBC

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Apple’s struggles to update Siri lead to investor concerns over AI strategy - Financial Times

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I feel so attached and in love with a dead celebrity. My love for anyone else is overshadowed by my love for him. What does this mean?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

"Maintaining Strong Bones Has Less To Do With Drinking Tons Of Milk": Experts Are Sharing What To Foods May Negatively Impact Your Bone Density - BuzzFeed

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

NFL Declines Comment on Viral Video of Patriots' Stefon Diggs Partying on Boat - Bleacher Report

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t buy bullshit

The One Food Registered Dietitians Say Isn’t as Healthy as Most People Think - Yahoo

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

John Brenkus, host of Emmy-winning ‘Sport Science’ on ESPN, died by suicide - New York Post

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have a reading level above third grade

What is the significance of Pete Rose, the all-time hits leader in Major League Baseball, who just passed away?

I can count

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

What's the biggest myth about illegal immigrants?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Scientists learn how mosquitoes outsmart and evade human defenses - Earth.com

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Mountaineers Defeat Kentucky to Advance to Super Regionals - West Virginia University Athletics

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Why were the Japanese soldiers in WW II so hesitant to surrender in battle?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I see through liars

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I actually pay taxes

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t cotton to rapists